Spencer Hux

Verizon Heritage postponed under the pretense of "unsafe" conditions

The forecast in Charleston today called for winds that exceeded even my golf tolerance, leaving me with the perfect opportunity to sit around and watch golf. Turning on a PGA event and seeing flag sticks that are damn near horizontal usually makes me very happy, because I’m a bit of a sadist when it comes to watching touring pros struggle. But the postponement of today’s final round at Harbor Town Golf Links spoiled one of the few chances I’ve had to watch the conclusion of a tournament this season. Even last week I was forced to listen to Sunday Masters coverage on the radio while driving home from Atlanta, an experience I would liken to shanking a shot that ends up in play- something that works in a pinch that you’d never want to go through again. So I was quite perturbed that a little bit of wind spoiled my chances of watching a tournament I’ve always enjoyed. I later learned that a marshal was injured by a falling branch, and I’ll be the first to say that the right decision was made if it was made in the interest of safety. But the skeptic in me thinks that if this course were in the middle of a treeless pasture that posed no threat we might have seen the same result.

The weather was just as bad this morning as it was at around 3pm when play was called, yet several players who were out of contention almost finished their rounds. On several occasions we’ve seen play continue on Tour amidst the certainty that lightning was approaching and in the area. Every tournament today shows spectators standing directly in front of a player just before he hits his ball over their heads. I’m just not sure I can believe that today’s weather conditions were any more dangerous than things to which we’ve grown accustom.

However, one distinguishing characteristic of the Verizon Heritage is that the event is reminiscent of a huge festival in which it is impossible to tell where one party ends and the other begins. Today Sea Pines Resort was more like a ghost town, leaving no one to buy the beer or merchandise. Had the gallery been willing to party in the wind, we may have seen the conclusion of this event, falling tree limbs, wayward golf shots and all.

Tiger doesn't have a streak, but is still more interesting

After watching golf on Sunday for the first time in 2007, something occurred to me- I don’t really care about tournaments unless Tiger Woods is playing. When this realization first swept over me, my immediate response was one of fear mixed with guilt. Fear because I don’t want to lose something I’ve always enjoyed so much, and guilt because my love of golf should transcend the dullness of the field on a given week, just as my love of Georgia football is not dependent on the players in a given year. I’ve read everything there is to read about Tiger Woods, I’ve seen his face on commercial after commercial for the last decade, I’ve tried to find things not to like about him (simply because I like pulling for the underdog), and I’ve come to the conclusion that without him, professional golf would be what the NHL is without Wayne Gretzkey.

There are several obvious reasons that Tiger is more interesting than anything else in the game, most of which have been discussed for years, leaving me no reason to revist them. But what I realized after watching the weekend rounds of the Buick Invitational and a few shots from the Dubai Desert Classic is that the main reason I enjoy watching tournaments in which Tiger is playing is that he doesn’t play second-tier courses; almost every venue he plays is worthy of a major championship, which gives him an even larger advantage on the rest of the field. This fact became abundantly clear at the Buick when Tiger managed to get up and down from everywhere while the other “contenders” (I don’t even remember their names at this point) showed why they can’t win by leaving shots in bunkers and crumbling under the pressure around the greens. I’m tired of watching tournaments like the Sony Open that are played on courses without the slightest distinguishing characteristics; put Waialae’s layout in Jersey and it’s no better than the local muni.

Watching the Buick made me question whether Tiger taylors his schedule not as much to allow for breaks, but more to allow himself to play courses that give him the best chance to win. At many of the PGA stops, Tiger wouldn’t win with his “B” game because the scoring gets too low, and even he wouldn’t be able to make up the ground on the best players in the world. But at places like Torrey Pines, Muirfield Village, and Firestone, Tiger is able to win with his short game where the winning score can remain between 10-15 under. I really don’t remember the last time I saw Tiger hit a jaw-dropping shot that wasn’t with a putter or a wedge; his overall ball striking, while obviously good, is not what sets him apart. I am really starting to believe that he knows many (if not most) of the tour courses aren’t challenging enough to give him more of an advantage than he already has, and therefore are not worth his time.

Similarly, because he doesn’t seem to win in all types of tour events, I don’t really consider his streak to be worthy of conversation. Win six straight and we’ll talk; win six over a period of months and that is not a streak.

So, for the rest of the year, I might have to be like Tiger and only watch the events that are played at a course that is worth my time; coincidentally, I guess that means Tiger will be playing in all of them.

Falcons' Morten Andersen almost achieves football's equivalent of shooting your age

As a result of their kicker Michael Koenen starting the year 2 for 8 in his field goal attempts, the Atlanta Falcons signed Morten Andersen to handle kicking responsibilities after week 3. Andersen recently became the leading scorer in NFL History, and more impressively, added to his lead atop the list of all-time points by Danish players (the second place Dane, Hans Nielson, has 0 points). It was generally accepted that Andersen would be useless from outside 40 yards, but would at least give the Falcons some stability at the position.

In the Falcons’ loss to the Philadelphia Eagles on Sunday, Andersen laughed in the face of his critics by kicking a 45-yard field goal. In most games this is a fairly insignificant feat, but Anderson turned 46 in August and one more measley yard would have allowed him to acheive the football equivalent of shooting his age on the golf course.

While with every passing year it becomes easier for a person to shoot his or her age in golf, things will only get more difficult for Anderson- next year he will need to make a 47-yarder to achieve this milestone. After the game he commented, “My next goal is to play until I’m 50. It’s a goal I’m serious about. I know people snicker at it. They’ve been snickering at it for 10 years now. But if I can play at a high level and stay healthy, I think I can do it.”

While the NFL points record is mildly impressive, making a 50-yard field goal after his 50th birthday would rank up there with Ladainian Tomlinson’s mark of 34 touchdowns in a season as the most impressive accomplishments in NFL history.

Come on Morten, just give us three more years!

Tiger Woods should not emulate Jack Nicklaus in course design

I’m very glad that Tiger Woods has taken the step that we all knew would come eventually, but he is entering his new endeavour with the wrong role models. Woods apparently consulted Jack Nicklaus and Tom Fazio about the business of course design, and after making the announcement about his new plans, Woods said, “I hope I can bring as much to this industry as they have over the years.” Obviously Woods has the imagination, creativity, and understanding of the game required to design outstanding courses; I think his resume speaks for itself. But what concerns me is Tiger’s idea of an “impact” on the industry. The Golden Bear has over 300 courses open for play worldwide, and it is no secret that many of these Nicklaus signature courses were no more designed by Jack himself than was the Old Course at St. Andrews.

Tiger was certainly correct in implying that Jack has had impacts on the industry, but one of those impacts is ridiculously high prices just because of the architect’s name. A perfect example (among many) would be Bear’s Best in Suwanne, Georgia, a compilation of some of Jack’s previously-designed holes from around the world. Had this layout been designed by Clyde Johnston, it would command a rate of around $50 rather than the $105 price tag that exists today (before you include the mandatory forecaddie). If Tiger should follow the same path and put his print on hundreds of courses, very few of them will be unique, and eventually there will not be any nuances that allow players to see what Tiger really envisions in his work.

If Tiger wants to make an impact on the design business to equal the impact he has had on the game, he needs to go in the opposite direction of Jack- he needs to involve himself in far fewer projects, but become deeply involved in the projects he does accept. He needs to take the route of Ben Crenshaw and Tom Doak rather than that of Nicklaus and Fazio.

And if he really wants to make an impact, he will make an occasional sacrifice, or at least find a financial backer who will. He will sign up to design a public access golf course that offers affordable rates (when compared to other top courses), has excellent junior rates available at any time, offers substantial military discounts, promotes walking and family golf, and offers to become a host site for the high school state championships.

Tiger does not need to do this with every project, or even most of his projects; if he even does it with one out of every twenty courses he designs he will have made a bigger impact on the industry than Jack Nicklaus ever has, and then we will be able to talk about Tiger as a great course designer.

A golf trip to Charleston should include the Links at Wild Dunes

While Charleston has always been a top tourist destination due to its history, beauty, and charm, it should also be seen as one of the top golf destinations, particularly in the fall and early winter, in the country. Over the last two weeks, the high temperatures have ranged from a pleasant 63 degrees to a balmy 76 and there is a wealth of courses in the area that could be added to any golfer’s “must-play” list. Travel south of the city and find Stono Ferry (named Charleston-area “Course of the Year in 2004), Seabrook Island, which features Crooked Oakes and Ocean Winds, and Kiawah Island, with the world-renowned Ocean Course not to mention another four courses that recently earned 4 ½ stars.

Travel just north of the city, and you’ll come to Charleston National, Patriot’s Point, RiverTowne Country Club, and the one of the oldest of the highly-acclaimed courses in the area, the Wild Dunes Resort Links Course, located at the northern end of the Isle of Palms, only twenty minutes from downtown. Driving through the neighborhood streets that lead to the Links course shows a mixture of the island’s native palm and live oak trees with the multi-million dollar homes that have become a commonality on the Isle of Palms since the course was first constructed.

One of Tom Fazio’s earliest designs, the Links Course received a great deal of attention upon opening in 1980, and deserves no less acclaim now in a discussion about the best public courses in South Carolina. When commenting on the property shortly after designing the course, Fazio said, “I saw right away that it was an architect’s dream. It had all the elements you could ask for- trees, water, dunes, and an ocean coast. The routing was relatively easy because some of the holes looked like they had been there forever. The place reminded me of Pine Valley.”

The course is kept in prime condition in the fall and winter months, as the beautifully-timed over seeding provides dreamlike lies in the fairways and true rolls on the greens (though, unfortunately, it does nothing to quell the nasty Bermuda rough). While it only plays to a length of just over 6,700 yards from the back tees, the tiny greens, changing breezes, and requirement for accuracy off of the tee make the Links Course a good challenge. Avoiding a big number on the closing holes is also quite an accomplishment, as the stunning views of Dewees Inlet and the Atlantic Ocean can spoil anyone’s concentration. To its credit, the resort allows unrestricted walking, and guests have the chance to take in the entire experience whenever they wish.

Wild Dunes has everything that a player should expect from a great resort: excellent course conditions; great service in every area; wonderful aesthetics; a state-of-art GPS system in the carts; or, for those who prefer the more traditional approach, an impeccably-designed yardage book that gives an accurate depiction of the Links’ contours. There are also several options available for accommodations with the AAA Four Diamond Boardwalk Inn, villas, and boardwalk homes. The Sea Island Grill is a favorite among guests of the resort and locals with its wide variety of “fruits of the sea” . There will be much more to come soon on the Links Course; in the meantime, take the trip to the Isle of Palms and experience it for yourself.

The FedEx Cup can't arrive quickly enough

Sliding down the razorblade of the final PGA Tour events is reminiscent of the bowl season that now exists in college football- full of events, very few of which mean anything unless you are related to a player on Tour or a player on the team that became “bowl-eligible". The PGA Tour’s schedule of events for the more than two months between August 17th and November 2nd includes the following tournaments with their respective winners: the Reno-Tahoe Open (Will Mackenzie); the 84 Lumber Classic (Ben Curtis); the Valero Texas Open (Eric Axley); the Southern Farm Bureau Classic (D.J. Trahan); the Chrysler Classic (Davis Love III); and the Funai Classic (Joe Durant). Similarly, the college bowl schedule tests the patience of even the most die hard fans, with almost six weeks between the conference championship games and the national championship. The dead period between these games is watered-down with the December 21st Pioneer Pure Vision Las Vegas Bowl, the December 23rd Bell Helicopter Armed Forces Bowl, and the December 30th Meineke Car Care Bowl. Much like the late-season PGA Tour events, these games are more of a punchline than anything. When we are force-fed mediocre football and golf, the major games or events that used to excite us become far less important.

Ever since the PGA Championship, the PGA Tour has taken a back seat to just about everything in my life: college football, the baseball playoffs, re-reading the Harry Potter books (they’re almost as good the second time), taking my dog to the park, listening to the Herd, and even watching the replays of the Georgia games as I hope to find a reason that they might beat Florida, Auburn, or Georgia Tech. At first I felt guilty about this, but then I had a revelation- these late-season tournaments are just not a good enough product, especially from a business with the financial success of the PGA Tour. And while my total lack of interest in professional golf has been bad enough, the worst effect of these lame PGA events is that I have absolutely no interest in the Tour Championship, which, when scheduled properly, is closer to a fifth major than The Players Championship will ever be.

Many have criticized officials for the creation FedEx Cup, but right now that is looking like the best decision made in the world of golf since Arnold Palmer decided to invest in The Golf Channel. The FedEx Cup will bring a timely and exciting end to the season and will leave us looking forward to the start of 2008. Next September could give the PGA Tour its evasive yet craved Tiger vs. Phil match-up over a period of weeks rather than for only one Sunday in April. Next September will allow us to look forward to the Tour Championship rather than having to look past it. And thankfully, next September will put an end to events that need manufactured story lines: Watch the Valero Texas Open, as technology clashes with religion-Former cell phone salesman Rich Beem battles Aaron Baddely in a highly anticipated duel.

While the NCAA and MLB have found ways to make their post seasons more tiresome (just look at the ratings for the World Series), the PGA Tour has taken a different strategy. This new format may have some downsides, but is definitely a better alternative than weeks of weak tournaments ending the season with a fizzle.

Nationwide Tour Palmetto Pride Classic: Watch out for Craig Bowden on the PGA Tour next year

The Nationwide Tour is visiting Charleston this week, with the first annual Palmetto Pride Classic at the Daniel Island Club’s new Ralston Creek Course. I went to the event on Thursday because I wanted to get a feel for the Nationwide Tour (the limited coverage on The Golf Channel really doesn’t reveal much of anything), take advantage of the beautiful weather, and get a good look at the course I’d heard so much about.

I would highly recommend a trip to a Nationwide event for anyone who enjoys golf. The tickets at the Palmetto Pride Classic are only $10, many of these players will be playing on the PGA Tour soon (if they haven’t already), and the smaller crowds make the tournament much more visitor-friendly than the larger PGA events. I’m not sure if this is the case at all Nationwide events, but there was more interaction between players and the gallery (if one could call under 1000 people a gallery) than I expected to see.

Play was delayed for almost two hours due to heavy fog in the area, forcing most of the field finish the first round on Friday morning. As a result of the delay, I witnessed two things that I’ve never before seen on a golf course. On the tee at the 11th hole (the 2nd hole for the group we were following), a fairly straight par five on which all the players were hitting driver, Craig Bowden had the tee first. Bowden, who is currently second on the Nationwide money list, is maybe best known for being paired with Michelle Wie in the 2004 Sony Open. As he set up I noticed that he sets the club about four inches behind the ball at address; the next thing I knew, he had taken a swing, the ball had only advance about two inches forward and six inches left, and out of the corner of my eye I saw the club head flying down the fairway and eventually into the trees. Bowden held the shaft in his hands and looked as stunned as anyone. I’ve seen club heads fly as a result of broken shafts, but I’ve never seen one actually come unglued the way this one did. There was some brief discussion before a rules official was called to confirm what everyone already knew- Bowden was lying one less than a foot from where he started the hole. Rather than getting angry, feeling sorry for himself, or complaining about a bad break (no pun intended), Craig Bowden made everyone laugh about the situation. “At least I’ve got a good lie,” he remarked, before pulling his three wood to play his second on this 586 yard hole, “I guess that also counts as a fairway hit.” He hit three wood twice, wedged one up to about five feet, made the put for a fantastic par, and was tied for the lead going into the weekend. After watching him handle an equipment malfunction, seeing him interact with the group, and listening to him sincerely praising and supporting the other players, Craig Bowden became a player I will be pulling for in every PGA event next year.

Conversley, the fan-friendly atmosphere of the Nationwide Tour events is probably not beneficial to Hunter Haas (no relation to Jay Haas), as his scowls, complaining, and refusal to acknowledge the gallery had most of the spectators there believing him to be a first-class jerk. Fortunately he missed the cut, so he didn’t have to endure the burden of playing golf over the weekend.

The Rawlston Creek Course has some beautiful holes, and at 7,446 yards is no easy test. But the first thing I noticed after seeing a few holes was that the pins seemed to be in almost impossible locations. “If these are Thursday locations", I said to my friend, “I’d hate to see Sunday.” Later as we were walking down the 18th alongside one of the groups, I asked one of the players how this course stacks up against their normal venues. The course, he explained, is very similar to what they see on a weekly basis, and the difficult pins are no exception. “They don’t want guys to score out here,” he remarked, “but it doesn’t matter, because they still do.” I can only assume that the tour officials do this because, generally speaking, when the overall scoring is more difficult, the quality of the leaderboard tends to be better, making the caliber of the players graduating to the PGA Tour better.

Overall, the Nationwide Tour experience exceeded my expectations, and I plan to be back at the Palmetto Pride Classic every year that I get the chance.

Whether it's Taylor Made, Titleist, or Cleveland, hybrids aren't always the answer

It is impossible not to notice that over the past few years more long irons have been ending up in second-hand stores while more golf bags have been filling up with hybrids. In almost every issue of the major golf publications there is a story about how amateur players can’t live without a hybrid, and that most golfers should carry at least two. The clubs are also making more appearances in PGA events, most notably in helping Todd Hamilton win the 2004 British Open. Ironically, Hamilton used his hybrid to take the place of a pitch shot rather than a long iron, but it certainly raised the golfing public’s awareness of the strange looking clubs.

As a student of the latest golf technology and equipment available, I obviously had to try one for myself, so I bought the Hogan CFT Hybrid last fall. I couldn’t hit it at first, so I gave it some time. After using the club for a few months, I could only describe the results as disappointing. So, I took that club out of my bag and bought what appeared to me to be a can’t-miss Cleveland Hybrid (that favored a driving iron more than a wood) and the results were similar. In fact, I traded that club in for $10 in store credit toward a 60-degree wedge.

In the meantime I have sampled a number of these “revolutionary” clubs, including the Cleveland Halo, the Taylomade Rescue, and the Nike CPR3 Ironwood; none of these has impressed me enough to earn a spot in my bag, and I’m only carrying twelve clubs as of right now.

These are my findings on hybrids. While they might offer more forgiveness than some long irons, they have a lot of shortcomings. They don’t appeal to my eye as much as a sleek looking 3-iron, the trajectory is more difficult to control than it is with an iron, they don’t give as much feedback due to a lack of feel, and it is very difficult to control the distance with these clubs, as I commonly experienced a range of 25 yards between certain shots even when everything felt solid. A 25 yard variation, regardless of how forgiving these clubs are, is just not good enough.

So, like every other bit of golf advice, take the hybrid craze with a grain of salt. They might be great for some players, but they certainly don’t work for everyone. I still feel far more comfortable with a 2-iron in my hand off of the tee or in the fairway, and I don’t think that will change anytime soon.

A major problem with the hybrid in the hands of an amateur is that, in my experience as a caddie, a player with a hybrid will automatically pull the club out of his or her bag from any distance that exceeds the length his or longest iron will carry, regardless of lie, conditions, or ball flight tendencies. Obviously this is more of a course management issue than a hybrid issue, but the hybrid often instills a false confidence because it is marketed as a club that is easy to hit from anywhere on the course. A hybrid might help the ego of a person who can’t get certain long irons in the air, but the fact is that in most cases a person who can’t get a long iron in the air is better off hitting two wedges from 200 yards and trying to make a putt than hitting a hybrid or anything else.

Moral of the story, as always- one club isn’t going to make that much of a difference. Save your money and practice your short game if you are more interested in improving your scores than you are in boosting your ego.

Michigan school board cancels football season: "No child left behind" again fails our parents and students

A school district in Michigan has ended the Oscoda Area High School football team’s season after an 0-4 start, citing the fact that the players are actually in danger when competing against stronger teams. Oscoda has failed to score a point, let alone win a game, so the board decided to take matters into their own hands.

From just about every angle this story illustrates some of the problems with our public school system. First of all, the parents and players pleaded with the board to reverse their decision. If the students want to continue competing and their parents are giving them permission to do so, the board has no grounds on which to cancel the season. The message that they are sending to these students is that there is no reason for them to compete because they are simply going to lose. To tell these athletes that they can’t win on the field because they aren’t as strong as the competition is the exact same as telling a student with a learning disability that he does not have the right to sit in a mainstream classroom because he can’t pass the tests on his own.

Secondly, the coach of the team defended the decision by saying, “I have 28 years of coaching experience in high school and college, and I know the difference between a team playing bad and a team that’s unsafe.” The fact is that the only reason a high school football team would be “unsafe” is if the players aren’t coached well enough to know how to protect themselves (as much as possible) against head and neck injuries. Any group of high school kids, regardless of their size, can compete SAFELY against any other high school team in the world with proper coaching. Obviously football is a dangerous sport, so there is a very fine line that separates a team that can compete “safely” and one that can’t. Apparently this school board believes it can define exactly where that line stands better than the players who are taking the hits themselves and better than the parents who are attending the games.

An even more disturbing outcome of this decision is that our over-protective society has given children yet another precedent for making excuses when they come up short. There is a growing epidemic of schools accepting mediocrity from children and then complaining about it when the test scores come back below the required numbers. Standardized testing has caused school boards and administrators to lose the ability to evaluate a situation and come up with an acceptable and logical solution. Every decision made by our legislators and school boards is pre-packaged, as though it comes in a box that reads “In case of emergency, use this"; sadly, we no longer have anyone who has the ability to make modifications or improvements on the fly. The worst part is that things are only going to get worse.

If you think this situation in Michigan is an isolated event, think again. As “No Child Left Behind” continues to put pressure on administrations and school boards we will see more and more sports programs dropped for various reasons. And the first to go will be the sports that don’t generate revenue, like golf. Football practice taking too much time away from studying? Oh well, drop the season. Golf equipment getting too expensive when money could be spent on useless motivational books? Screw golf, kids don’t need respect and patience, they need test scores. There is only one result that will come of the current direction of our public schools: more poor decisions by the leadership, more emphasis on “core” classes, less interest in developing students who are actually ready to take on life, and in the end, a complete failure of the schools. At this point, things will have to be blown up and taken back to the drawing board before we see any improvement.

Overall it boils down to this- the main job of a school board member, administrator, and teacher is to make decisions with the best interest of the students in mind, and the school board in Michigan failed to do this. Almost two years ago I had the opportunity to coach high school golf, and we competed in a region that was overflowing with scratch golfers; I had ten students, (five girls and five guys) none of whom had ever picked up a club in his or her life. We got pounded in every match, and not a single one of my players ever broke 50 for the nine holes. We certainly didn’t offer good competition to any of the better teams, and they probably would have gotten more out of practicing alone than they did out of playing against us. But we made it to every match, we finished every match, and every coach commented on how well our players handled themselves out on the course. The easiest thing to do would have been to cancel the season, or the program altogether for that matter, but keeping the team together was in the best interest of the students.

In the end, teachers and coaches, parents, and students (in that order) must have control of what goes on in the classroom and on our high school fields, or else kids all over America will be subject to blanket decisions handed down by vote-thirsty legislators and power-tripping board members. Congratulations Oscoda district, for you have officially lost touch with the human element of society and of education.

Missing: Titleist 56 degree and Cleveland 60 degree wedges

A few weeks ago during a weekend of great golf, I seem to have misplaced a few of my sticks. A Titleist 56 degree wedge and a Cleveland 60 degree wedge made it through all 36 holes at Harbour Town and the Ocean Course, but somehow got left by the green on the 18th at by the famous lighthouse. Perhaps it was the wonderful views that distracted me, perhaps I was a bit preoccupied with the double bogey I had just made, or perhaps we had been having a little too much fun during the round; regardless, I am now down to twelve clubs. Unfortunately, I didn’t realize this until about ten days after the round, so when I called the pro shop it was too late.

I’ve come to terms with the fact that I will never see either of those wedges again, and I have found a glimmer of hope in the entire situation. I have addressed my feelings on golf karma before, so I know that the golf gods will deliver swift and vengeful retribution on the player who has two hijacked wedges in his or her bag. It makes me rest easier at night to know that someone out there who chose not to turn my clubs in will be faced with a lifetime of shanks, bladed chips, and fat bunker shots. I hope, sincerely, that these diseases not only infect the purloined clubs, but also all of the other clubs in the player’s bag. Then, and only then will this person receive the reward that he or she deserves.

While it may have been my fault for leaving the clubs, nowhere do the Rules of Golf read “Finders keepers, losers weepers.”

The Ballad of the US Ryder Cup Team

Sad Stories are generally told very well in a ballad, so I dedicate this to the American teams, both present and future

Heading over to Ireland for some Guinness and fishin’,
The Americans seemed prepared for their difficult mission.
Tiger changed his schedule and took a more involved stance,
Lehman thought that without Woods the team stood little chance.
As the days approached quickly the determination never wavered,
Though they knew for the first time they were no longer favored.
It was a strong team from Europe that stood prepared to defend,
Europe felt all the while that fate was with them in the end.

A lot will be made about Captain Lehman’s moves,
But in the end, as always, it’s the players who lose.

As play began Friday the groups were no surprise,
But it would have been hard to predict Mr. Mickelson’s demise.
And though Tiger and Jim looked like a pretty strong link,
Furyk faltered in the afternoon and yanked one in the drink.
But leaving on Friday they were down only two,
If some putts would fall Sunday they could erase their miscues.

A lot will be made about Captain Lehman’s moves,
But in the end, as always, it’s the players who lose.

There was solid play early from Johnson and Verplank,
But then later on Phil Mickelson hit another cold-shank.
Gamblers lost money in Las Vegas, Nevada,
Because our boys were getting a beat-down from the Spanish Armada.

A lot will be made about Captain Lehman’s moves,
But in the end, as always, it’s the players who lose.

On Sunday morning visions of Brookline must have danced in their heads,
But the fact is that the Yanks should have stayed in their beds.
Johnny Miller would agree, he had no nice things to say,
But who cares, because his ego always gets in the way.
When the putts started dropping it was too little, too late,
And another two years we will be forced to wait.

A lot will be made about Captain Lehman’s moves,
But in the end, as always, it’s the players who lose.

Mitsuhiro Tateyama turns in golf's greatest 84 to date

Mitsuhiro Tateyama, a 38 year-old Japanese professional, became my favorite player on Thursday. Tateyama turned in one of the most impressive rounds in golf history,after recording a 19 on the par 3 8th hole at Ishioka Golf Club. Amazingly, Tateyama finished only 13-over-par for his round. Every person who plays golf, whether professionally or recreationally, is accustom to qualifying his or her round not necessarily by the score, but rather by what could have been; statements such as “I had 88, but I hit the ball well enough for it to have been an 78 if I would have made a few putts” and “If you just took away the four triple bogeys I made it would have been a really good round” are just a few examples of how we as golfers try to make ourselves feel better about the game. Now Tateyama, or “Tat-Diesel” as he shall be referred to from this point forward, can say, “I once shot a 13-over 84 in a tournament, and I was 16-over par on one hole.” That’s the kind of round I want to be able to talk about for the rest of my life.

What makes this story so great is not that Tateyama finished tied for 112th after two rounds (carding a 67 today), but that he actually finished respectably. We’ve seen professional players lose their minds, withdraw, or both because of a little hot weather, questionable pin positions, a woman in the field, or slow play. The fact that Tat-Diesel can keep his head about him after taking 14 swings to advance a ball from a bush is beyond me, and the man deserves a Nobel Prize. Here’s a man who looked rule 28 (unplayable lie) right in the eye and screamed,"To hell with you!” Fourteen times he screamed this until he finally hacked his ball back in play.

Mitsuhiro Tateyama, I salute you, for having been given a reason to throw all of your clubs in a lake, but instead achieving that bit of golf enlightenment for which we all strive: actually being able to put a hole behind you.

International Talk Like a Pirate Day adds new opportunities to your round of golf

All Hope Abandon, Ye Who Enter Here

Worldgolf.com has always been interested in recognizing important holidays, and today is no exception. Another Internationational Talk Like a Pirate Day has come and gone, leaving many land-lovers around the world pondering its true purpose. But all of those who scoff at this cherished holiday are missing a perfect opportunity to expand their vocabulary, wear puffy shirts, drink rum out of commandeered goblets, and increase their chances with the ladies by incorporating pirate-pickup lines such as, “Avast, me proud beauty! Wanna know why my Roger is so Jolly?” and “Prepare to be boarded!” into their repetoire.

As a person who has an affinity for pirates, I have always tried to incorporate a little buccaneer into my life. Allow me to detail how useful speaking pirate can be on the golf course.

For example, the word “Aarrrrr” (number of “r’s” optional) can be used in almost any situation, and a person can allow his or her tone (or the number of “r’s") to convey the message’s meaning. Several variations of “Aarrr” can be a great option in any of the following situations:

1. You are only 80 yards out after a beautiful tee shot, but you hit an obese wedge in the bunker short of the green.
2. You’re partner has just hit an iron to ten feet, and you proceed to knock one to six feet.
3. The beer cart girl asks if you need anything to drink.
4. Your partner asks if his putt is good, and you respond “Aarrr.” When he picks up his ball, you inform him that he lost the hole because you clearly indicated that his put was NOT good.

The word “Aarrrr” can be especially useful in match play situations, as it not only intimidates your opponent, but also forces him or her to spend time interpreting what you’re trying to say rather than focusing on his or her own game(not a bad strategy for our American team during the Ryder Cup. Even wearing puffy shirts while saying “Aarrr” would be less humiliating for them than what happened at the matches in 2004).

So, embrace International Talk Like a Pirate Day. After all, it’s just as legitimate a reason for Americans to get drunk as Cinco de Mayo, and let’s be honest, who amongst us doesn’t want to be able to get away with saying, “Shiver me’ timbers!"?

Michelle Wie misses cut at 84 Lumber

I’ll be busy this weekend, so I figured I’d go ahead and take care of this little post right now.

Michelle Wie has once again missed a cut on the PGA tour, finishing at least 20 shots off the lead for the second week in a row. When asked to comment, her response was, “I just really feel like I got a bad break with it having rained and this being such a long course.”

Fifth anniversary of 9/11 has something to do with golf after all

Typically after a weekend of playing great golf courses I am left thinking about what might have been with my rounds. Careless decisions, poor putting, and my temper inevitably cause my scores to end up higher than I originally hoped.

But today is different. I got home from Hilton Head last night and immediately my thoughts shifted from my most recent blown opportunities on the course to blown opportunities in our national security in the years leading up to 2001; watching ABC’s Path to 9/11 left me speechless for almost three hours as it brought back horrible memories from my past. When I stopped to think about it, the majority of the horrific events that I have been old enough to remember, other than natural disasters, have been the work of Al Qaeda. While that was a numbing realization, I was struck even more by the documentary of the NYC firefighters that coincidentally was being filmed the morning of the attacks and unintentionally captured a glimpse of the horror from that day. The emotions I experienced last night were as powerful as those I experienced during the events themselves, and I felt as though I were reliving everything again.

During the actual attacks I was at the beginning of a three-month study abroad experience in London. As incomprehensible and confusing as the day would have been in America, I felt even more disoriented and disconnected being in Europe. I wasn’t sure exactly what was happening, I wasn’t sure if things were over, I wasn’t sure if anyone I knew had been killed, and I wasn’t sure what all of the people in the massive city around me were feeling about the attacks and about my presence. We were also staying in an area of London with a very high Muslim population, so my own ignorance of their culture certainly added to my discomfort.

Reliving these experiences last night was something I needed. It knocked me out of my closed-off and sheltered world that typically consists of worrying about golf and the minutia that goes into my job and brought me back into the reality that is our world today, a reality that is too easy to forget.

Hopefully I will be able to take something out of this fifth anniversary that has gotten here way too quickly and given us very few answers to the questions that plagued the final months of 2001. I just hope that I will be able to do a better job of reserving my stress, concern, fear, and compassion for events that actually matter rather than for those that really play no part in determining who I am as a person or who we are as a nation.

Ironically, something as insignificant as golf is where I really need to make a big change in my life. If I’m getting frustrated with my golf game and therefore not enjoying playing as much as I could, then I am certainly not taking advantage of everything for which our real heroes are fighting on a daily basis. It seems strange that to appreciate huge events, sacrifices, and issues a person must begin by taking advantage of the small blessings in his or her life, so that’s what I intend to try to do after being reminded of the events that took place on September 11, 2001.