Mitsuhiro Tateyama turns in golf's greatest 84 to date

Mitsuhiro Tateyama, a 38 year-old Japanese professional, became my favorite player on Thursday. Tateyama turned in one of the most impressive rounds in golf history,after recording a 19 on the par 3 8th hole at Ishioka Golf Club. Amazingly, Tateyama finished only 13-over-par for his round. Every person who plays golf, whether professionally or recreationally, is accustom to qualifying his or her round not necessarily by the score, but rather by what could have been; statements such as “I had 88, but I hit the ball well enough for it to have been an 78 if I would have made a few putts” and “If you just took away the four triple bogeys I made it would have been a really good round” are just a few examples of how we as golfers try to make ourselves feel better about the game. Now Tateyama, or “Tat-Diesel” as he shall be referred to from this point forward, can say, “I once shot a 13-over 84 in a tournament, and I was 16-over par on one hole.” That’s the kind of round I want to be able to talk about for the rest of my life.

What makes this story so great is not that Tateyama finished tied for 112th after two rounds (carding a 67 today), but that he actually finished respectably. We’ve seen professional players lose their minds, withdraw, or both because of a little hot weather, questionable pin positions, a woman in the field, or slow play. The fact that Tat-Diesel can keep his head about him after taking 14 swings to advance a ball from a bush is beyond me, and the man deserves a Nobel Prize. Here’s a man who looked rule 28 (unplayable lie) right in the eye and screamed,"To hell with you!” Fourteen times he screamed this until he finally hacked his ball back in play.

Mitsuhiro Tateyama, I salute you, for having been given a reason to throw all of your clubs in a lake, but instead achieving that bit of golf enlightenment for which we all strive: actually being able to put a hole behind you.