Tiger Woods wins: I should have listened to the "experts"

Mysteriously, a reader who called himself Andrew Durfresne posted an obscure request in my last post. “Mr. Hux,” this reader pleads, “I noticed that you have not posted PGA Championship predictions from that Beardzilla chap. I found his foresight at the Masters to be nothing short of amazing. Did this guy play on tour, or was he a professional Vegas bookkeeper? I enjoy your blogs, but give me my Beardzilla, baby!”

Fortunately for Andy, the one and only Beardzilla got me his thoughts on the PGA by the deadline- 8am on Thursday morning (Because his Masters guarantee came on Saturday morning of the tournament, I figured I better add some rules to give even the slightest bit of legitimacy to Beardzilla’s predictions).

Once again on Sunday evening, I realized that my knowledge of this game is not what I once thought it to be. I stand before you humbled. Beardzilla once again correctly predicted the winner of a major while I was wasting my time actually playing golf. Honestly, the man must have psychic powers. I mean, who would have thought to have picked the players ranked numbers one and two in the world to win the PGA and the Masters, respectively? And his certainty was astounding. For the first time ever, I will share with the world a little glimpse of what it is actually like to be friends with Beardzilla.

I’m sparing the public the first two or so paragraphs of his email, as the IQ of the world would definitely decrease were it subjected to this logic. Zilla finally got on with his prediction, and wrote, “Thus, for all of the obvious reasons that I have mentioned above, Tiger will win. You should write your blog right now. I might be the first to say it, but this kid Tiger has got some serious game. You can put me on the record as saying that he will definitely win some big tourneys down the road. I know that is a bold statement, but Spence if you are going to be the “Svengala of the Golf Swing,” (as I am affectionately called in some circles in Asia) you have to be bold! And don’t forget, that is Zilla with two Ls. HOLLER!!!!”

Andy, I promised he would be back, and he came back with a vengeance. The Ryder Cup predictions, however, might be a little more difficult for him, seeing as he knows nothing about golf.