Augusta, PGA Championship, or U.S. Open- The race to 8,000 has no winners

It’s a good thing the Guinness Book of World Records is updated frequently, otherwise readers would be mislead by gross inaccuracies when they came to the “Longest Golf Course in Major Championship History” section. Medinah, host of this year’s PGA Championship, will play to a distance 7,561, taking the place of the former record-holder(Whistling Straits)as the longest course in major championship history. And who knows- with the recent change in command at Augusta National, Medinah might even hold its position for a year or two. That is, of course, until the tournament returns to the Straits course in 2010 and they find a way to make the 18th hole even longer and less final-hole-of-a-major-championship-worthy than it already is.

The PGA, USGA, and members of Augusta will be faced with an interesting predicament in the coming years. It’s as though this decade has been a Cold War-style “space race", with the different committees trying to see how much space they could actually cover with the golf course. It will be interesting to see which organization will allow its penis envy to force players into 8,000 yards worth of golf course.

At some point, the rapid increase in length will have to plateau in order to give the field a puncher’s chance. Regardless of technology, fitness, or performance enhancing drugs, there are limits to how far the golf ball can fly. I recently wrote that the Ocean Course at Kiawah Island is already more than the top players can handle if played from the tips(and I still believe that), but I’m already eager to see if all of the almost-8,000 yards are used for the PGA in 2012. I used to be an advocate of blood-bath style tournaments where the winning score was over par; while I still occasionally enjoy seeing a grown man cry during major championships, I’ve started to get bored when there are virtually no birdies on the course (See U.S. Open champ chipping-in for par on the 17th hole). If majors become as fun to watch as a Keanu Reeves movie, what’s the point in paying attention? Consequently, if people aren’t paying attention, are they even majors anymore?

Not that I condone gambling in any way, but as of the year 2010, I’ll set the over-under for distance of the longest major championship course in history at 7,745 yards.

Over or under? Which tournament will it be?

In the end it won’t matter- as long as the tournaments continue to destroy golf courses, limit birdies, and eliminate eagles, there won’t be any winners.