Phil Mickelson wins, and right-handers still dominate the world

It seems that I was wrong in my recent prediction that Retief Goosen would win the Masters. I stuck by him all weekend, and even until the back 9 on Sunday.

I stuck by him even though one of the most intelligent people I know, Mr. Casey Beard, chose Phil Mickelson. Mr. Beard, who goes by the self-given nicknames of “Beardzilla” and “Beardinator", warned me on Sunday morning that Phil would win. Although I gave him several logical explanations for Mickelson’s impending downfall, Beardzilla persisted. His logic was simple, but it turned out to be impeccable- Mickelson would win because he is left-handed.

That’s right- while everyone else in America was picking winners based on the changes to the golf course, golf statistics, and general golf knowledge, choosing the winner of the tournament was as easy as choosing a left-hander, who ironically enough, isn’t really left handed. (For those of you who, like Beardzilla, were not aware, Mickelson simply learned to play golf from the left side as a child).

Prior to the U.S. Open, I will make sure to consult Casey-the-Great before making my long-winded predictions; otherwise, I’m sure to over-analyze all of the golf-related facts that fool everyone who follows golf.

So, overall, I’d like to apologize to Casey (who happens to be left handed) for doubting him and his right-handed idol. Apparently the only time he has ever been wrong involved a bet in which he swore that the guy advertising the Subaru Outback was an actor who looked like Paul Hogan, not the real Paul Hogan. In fact, I still haven’t seen the $100 that is due to me as a result. I guess we’ll call it even Zilla.