Tigers, alligators, and other bad ideas on the golf course

Tigers, alligators, and bad ideas on the golf course
Some people get really bad ideas when they’re on the golf course. Tapping an alligator on the nose with a putter (I actually saw someone do this), giving Tiger extra motivation before a match against him, and bringing a cell phone to the golf course usually don’t work out so well for anyone.

I think that every time I have seen someone use a cell phone on a course, it has led to disaster for the player. Think about it. The conversations that take place on a golf course almost always involve business or a significant other. If the conversation is about business, then chances are it is important and can’t wait. If it’s important, the chances are there will be some stress involved. If there’s stress involved, you can kiss your good round of golf goodbye.

Picture this. Your friend answers the phone, and this is the only side of the conversation you hear as you are approaching the next tee.

Any American Joe- “Hello, Joe speaking, how can I help you?…………Oh hey Tom, how are you?……….No, no, not busy at all. What can I do for you?…………….Yes, that’s correct………..Yes, exactly……………..No, I didn’t hear from him yet………….What do you mean?…………………………………..I don’t understand…………………………………………………………Tom, I thought we’d agreed on that price……………………………….NO TOM, I DON”T THINK IT”S UNFAIR……………………………………………..LISTEN, IF YOU DON”T LIKE IT YOU CAN TAKE YOUR BUSINESS ELSEWHERE!……………….FINE!!!!!!!!!!!!

How many times have you seen some slight variation of this situation? Have you ever seen someone continue to play well after something like this? Me neither.

Here’s the other possibility of what awaits a man when he picks up the phone.

Any American Joe - “Hello……..Oh hi sweet pea……………I’m fine, how are you?…………..How has your day been?……………Oh good………………… I’m playing really well right now………………Probably around 8:30 or 9:00…………….Well I know it will be dark but I’m going to grab a beer with the guys after we finish………………………………………………………… ………… … ………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..I didn’t know you were planning to cook dinner………….I didn’t know they were coming over…………………………I guess I could just come home right after we play……………What?……………Sure, I’ll pick up some milk.”

As he hangs up the phone, this man is harassed by his friends until he is so furious he can barely put a sentence together. How do you think the rest of his round is going to go?

Lets face it, cell phones on the golf course are like clowns at a birthday party. They seem like a good idea at first, but something inevitably goes wrong.