There's no crying on the golf course!

This morning when I was watching Golf Central over a bowl of cereal, they showed a statistic claiming that men are 18 times more likely than women to break a golf club on the course, while women are 19 times more likely to cry. (This is the same study that found 30 percent of Americans would give up sex for a year in exchange for a round at Augusta National).

These numbers (who knows how they came up with them) got me thinking- who would I rather play with, the person who cries or the person who slings a club?
We all have played with that person who throws clubs so often that everyone has to be on his toes to avoid taking a wedge to the forehead. Come to think of it, I have been that person. But a playing partner who cries? I can’t say that I have ever seen that, and I hope I never do. And I’m not criticizing women golfers, so just stop it. I’m looking at these two different reactions without taking gender into consideration.

Just imagine the scene. You’re standing on the 3rd tee beginning to feel comfortable with your round. Everyone is laughing, and you’ve just cracked the first Budweiser of the day. The final player in the foursome hits a ball down the left center of a tight fairway, but it hits a sprinkler head and kicks hard left into a deep fairway bunker. As you all babble about what a tough break that was, you see tears welling in the player’s eyes. Before you know what to do you are dealing with a blubbering mess who turns to you and says between sobs, “Why did it have to do that? That just wasn’t fair at all. What am I going to do now?” You look down at your shirt after you have patted your partner on the back, and there are now snot stains on your shoulder.

I think I’ve made my decision: give me club-thrower-partner any day over crying-partner. Instead of spending 4 holes helping crying-partner get her life together, you can simply walk off and leave club-thrower-partner with his temper (so much for dancing around the gender issue). You’ll get to the next hole, and although he might only have 13 clubs, rest assured that he now has a clear mind.