Urgent message to the Augusta authorities. Lighten up guys.

Okay, you’ve made your point about stopping the bombers from creaming your course. Tim Clark on top of the leaderboard sets that one to rights. And you’ve certainly made the best golfers in the land sweat for their place in the sun. But that’s just it, it’s been a sweat, a desperate battle to survive rather than an exuberant display of attacking golf. Always on the verge of turning silly was how Henrik Stenson described it.

Frankly, I’d rather see a bit of a birdie chase this weekend. So please, maybe with a bit of water on those hard greens, certainly with easier pin positions, do what you can. I want some shock and awe, not Stalingrad.

Speaking of shock and awe, though, I guess you could apply that to Tiger Woods Friday. Shock at some of the incredible miscues, awe at the way he recovered from five over on the day at one point - and twice going in the water - to keep himself in the danger zone. But what was that curious incident on the 13th all about? I keep replaying his aborted tee shot but still can’t see the birds that supposedly flashed by to distract him. Not seen anything like that before.

Considering the tough conditions, there were a number of impressive rounds Friday, not the least Padraig Harrington’s four under that put him back in contention, and even Paul Casey likewise redeeming his first round horror.

The traditions of Augusta mean Brett Wetterich and Clark should now start to feel the heat and give way at the top, although Clark has been very consistent and has the course pedigree to get the job done. Even though a host of big names are already moulderin’ in Augusta’s grave, the crew gathered for the weekend shootout is still impressive, particularly Stuart Appleby, a bit sore from his near miss last week, and Geoff Ogilvy. Are the Aussies about to break their Masters drought?

Tiger for one says ‘no’. Face it, he came from six behind at the half-way stage two years ago. I also like the way Vijay Singh sits just a couple of shots off the pace, not so much a Tiger as a crocodile.

Much too close to call, although I bet all those who jumped on Tiger at the start are looking wistfully at his current price of 4.

Despite his continued optimism, however, surely only a minor miracle can save Phil Mickelson now? If anyone’s a victim of Augusta’s dirty war, it’s poor Lefty.