Taking a beating at Troon North Golf Club

This is exactly the blog post no one cares about.

BORING.

At least you guys paid up. I might have called them for sandbagging and told them to piss off! By the way, I never like to bet serious cash against someone from the host golf course, especially if I've never seen the golf course before. Like adding five shots to your handicap.

And who the hell is this guy doing hardcore workouts on a golf FAM? What an amateur. He should be three beers deep by lunch.

Ok....where to start??!!??

I was trying to experience the whole Westin Kierland experience so I did an hour and half work out at 5:30am. Trust me my midsection hasn't seen the inside of a gym in awhile and when Steve Heller from Fore-Max (a leading golf fitness trainer) said he had great exercises for bad backs...I said sign me up. I didn't realize it would be a couple hundred crunches, leg lifts and pretzel stretches.

I came to the first tee wobbling and flat out dizzy. No warm up (at least on the range)

Mike insisted on a game and I pleaded three times not to play. (I am competitive but my abs and back were on fire)

While I was going thru the hellacious workout that at the time likened to torture at Quantomeno Bay, Mike was warming up on the range for an hour, sipping coffee and draining 6 foot practice putts.

Walking straight from the gym to the tee I and having my arm twisted for a friendly wager I asked for a breakfast ball. (aka a mulligan on the first tee) I can’t help it he obliged.

My first ball was blasted right into the desert waste bunker in front of the tee. If I said it went 30 yards I would be exaggerating. In utter defeat, I reached into my back pocket to get my losing money ready. I then realized I left my wallet at the hotel. I asked my partner if his back was strong because he would need to carry me.

After my reload I pulled it together and shot one of my best rounds. (82 from tips...at a course I never played)

Mike failed to mention he rematched me twice. (both times I pleaded no...lol)

I lost a press to him and the following day had a more typical golf day on the course as I shot in the mid/upper 40's for 9. He did recover some of my winnings.

This blog posting is great (and this is all in light spirits) but it is more of a self justification to flat out losing to a guy that looked ripe for the pickings. (and trust me I was)

As for being called a hustler, and the let the record be known...my career winnings in golf is now about a whopping $45. (Thanks to Mike’s $20 donation) I gamble so little on the course I repeatedly had to ask about the rules in Nassau.

I can see how it all looks a little shady – a guy doesn’t have his wallet, claims to be a 14 then rips off a good round on a demanding course and then appears to play dumb on how the game is played. ((But let the facts stand for themself. I didn’t want to participate, my mind was more on not passing out and I can’t help some dumb blind luck. Come one, no one can drop eagle wedge shots just because a few bucks are on the line. Not to mention my partner was on fire too)

In closing, I have no chance for a career in golf hustling. I will stick to writing about it instead. Although, I might be lucky to land a Fore-Max endorsement if I stick to the dvd workouts I now started. (lol)

Fast forward 4 days…. the workout pain has finally subsided but I see the pain of losing a $2 Nassau to a Midwest hack is still killing Mike!

All in Good Fun!

~Brian

Let me just add that it's difficult to play "career" golf when your partner makes four-footers every time they matter. I guess a little Foremax pain sharpens the senses. Also, one disclaimer - the money that was paid to me was transfered direclty to the guys at the bag drop as a tip, keeping the amount of money I've pocketed from media at $0. All in all, it was a beautiful day for golf and the company was most enjoyable.

Well, at least I'm a funny guy. Hey, looks aren't everything!