A golfer's nightmare: The airline lost my golf clubs

I’m busy squabbling with my friends (term used loosely) at Delta Airlines. The phone calls, the passenger property loss claims form, the internet searches, all because they’ve mislaid the tools of my trade. My golf bag.

Where could my weaponry be? Pilfered by a malevolent baggage handler in Cancun? Sitting unclaimed in some dusty corner of Hartsfield International? Picked off a baggage carousel by some numbskull whose travel bag was the same shade of royal blue, too preoccupied to check the nametag? Sent off to some other city, a myopic airline employee mistaking Savannah’s airport code of SAV for SAB? (Saba Island, Netherlands Antilles) SAP? (San Pedro Sula, Honduras) SAT? ( San Antonio) Perhaps they misread the middle letter, and off the bag went to SUV. (Suva, Fiji)

That would be my hope, I suppose, off to Fiji. In ten or fifteen year’s time, if the second coming of Vijay Singh starts to dominate on the PGA Tour, I’ll always think that maybe a gleaming bag full of Big Berthas ended up in the surprised possession of some young Fijian, who honed his skills to a far greater degree than I ever could. But that’s daydreaming. This is reality.

Never mind the high-tech sticks, the two pairs of shoes, the umbrella, sunglasses, etc. I wield a divot repair tool so heavy duty, it couldn’t get through security at Baghdad International. My magnetic ball marker has sentimental value. Queen Elizabeth probably has more gloves than I do, but not by many.

Then there’s the bag itself, a super-light Sun Mountain dandy, a shade of lime green so bright it can be picked out on a bag rack from 500 yards. Even the travel cover is special—super roomy, extra rugged, with plenty of space for clothing.

Which might be the only saving grace of this tiresome ordeal. Because whoever made off with my goods, be they devious, mischievous, or demented, will be in for quite a surprise. Besides the sticks, balls, shoes, etc. they’ll also be inheriting five days of sweat-stained and ever-ripening laundry.