Oh Michelle Wie, I'm So Sad for You -- Not!

I was wondering if the Wie Circus could get any worse. Was I ever wrong.

Now remember, I predicted that this return was going to be a non-event.

In her inglorious return to competitive LPGA tournament play, the phenom, the queen of hype, Miss Sparkly herself Michelle Wie, has again tripped over her huge pile of endorsement cash and fell flat on her face (er..wrist). What a joke she has become.

When she quit the latest tournament she said to an LPGA Tour official: “We’re not going to play anymore.” Oh you big baby. Take it like a professional.

I thought that John Daly was becoming a mockery. Was I ever wrong. Michelle Wie has taken his exalted place.

Wie of the pending 88 before withdrawing after the 16th. Wie of the “poor me…it’s my wrist again” excuse. She has turned into a pathetic golfer and manufacturers almost as many excuses as she does strokes.

She had almost five months to recover from this alleged wrist injury. She got herself a new coach and was going to work hard and point herself in the right direction. She was ready to get out there and prove herself. I guess we discovered how well all that new coaching has worked.

In an earlier post I commented that her wrist injury was conveniently timed so she could gracefully get out of the spotlight after dismal finishes in a couple of men’s events. I was taken to task by a reader accusing me of saying that her wrist injury was faked. At the time, I vehemently denied it. Now, I believe she is faking.

Football players take two weeks off when they sprain an ankle. Basketball players gut it out, limp around and are back on the court after a few games (unless it is a high ankle sprain and then it could be forever). Even Annika Sorenstam, after having sat out with both a ruptured and bulging disc for two months, returned to shoot a round of 72.

What kind of wrist injury takes five months to heal unless you have surgery on it (which she didn’t). This isn’t an injury this is just cover. Her “injury” has now become a thinly-veiled excuse for playing badly. She’s really turned out to be a disappointment.

I thought I’d look back on years past and reminisce over a time when everything looked rosy, the world was Sparkly’s oyster and Ms. Wie’s endorsement contracts were rolling in. I credit the website www.jockbio.com for these quotes:

“I might go play the LPGA full-time and then, after I get better, go to the PGA full-time. Or just try to play both. It will be fun.” – That’s worked so well now hasn’t it?

“I don’t mind when I hit a ball in the woods. I think of it as an adventure. That’s when golf really starts to get interesting.” – What an adventure. It’s even more fun if it goes in the water.

“I enjoy the attention. I like the cameras. In a way, they make me play better.” – No question about it, the more face time you get, the better it seems to work.

“My favorite player is Tiger Woods. I think I can beat Tiger when I’m 20. It’s a life goal.” – Looking forward to it. I’ll put it on my calendar.

“My ultimate goal is to play in the Masters.” – Just like everyone else’s, but like us, you’ll never get there either.

Ah, the innocence of youth. I cry crocodile tears for you.