Golf is Better Than Hollywood, and then some.

I am sitting here watching the Oscars and I am super impressed by the stunning pretension and arrogance of these pinheads. They seem to believe that they ARE the characters they portray, rather than the dropouts, dope fiends and deviants they actually are. Ocar’s has gone “green?” Are you kidding me? They arrive in hybrids leaving their G5’s on the runway.

They make movies, a few hours of diversion for me, but they don’t inspire, enlighten, or move me as they would like to believe. While I am sure there are some fine people in Hollywood, collectively their self serving belief that we “need” them, or they make a “difference” in my life is sheer poppycock. Their pompous tone of lecturing on what we “ought” to do, or “should” do to make a “difference” is just so much nonsense. Everyone of us make a difference every day we go to work, take care of our friends and families, and create. Making a movie isn’t making a difference, showing up in life is. If someone can tell me how Kill Bill, Get Shorty, Pulp Fiction, or Dirty Harry all movies that might be considered entertaining and well produced inspired me other than to forgo my career as a hired killer, let me know.

If Hollywood were to make the Tiger Woods story, I can see it now. Tiger would be born of a poor black welfare mother, with a father of questionable background. Raised in East LA, he would arrive in juvenile hall where he would be rescued by Denzel Washington, his mentor and coach. It would be this coach that would help him relearn to speak the King’s English after a terrible auto accident left him autistic and speechless (having previously spoken Ebonics). From there, we would get a scholarship from Stanford due to affirmative action. He would drive a Prius, not a Buick. He would have tea with Al Gore, and worry about Global Warming ruining golf courses. Tiger’s tenacious will to win would be to vindicate his race, not his personality or individuality. He would be an outspoken critic of the white dominance in the world of golf which remains to this day.

In fact, we know that early on in Tiger’s career, black leaders were pressing for Tiger to become an “advocate” of the black experience in America, yet he avoided that label. He let his play speak for itself.

So, I ask you? Is golf more compelling than movies and Hollywood? I would say yes. I really missed seeing Tiger progress this week in the matchplay format, but the final match of what’s his name and the other guy was classic golf. And oh, by the way, the difference in coverage between the Golf Channel and NBC and Johnny Miller was like the difference between Hollywood and reality. Nick and Kelly need serious help. They seemed almost to be auditioning for Johnny’s role, but he already has it. They don’t. And they were so weak that at the end of the broadcast God stepped in and killed their feed. It was almost merciful. Hollywood couldn’t have scripted any better.