Sex may not sell, but sure draws a crowd at PGA Show

ORLANDO - I think a proper equation for the PGA Show (and probably all trade shows for that matter) is that the amount of cleavage bore by a booth’s models are relative to the uselessness of the product being hocked.

Take Green Novelties, for instance. They have two stunningly attractive models in knee-high socks, plaid skirts that leave little to the imagination, and tied up little shirts that do more supporting than covering.

Am I not being vivid enough in my description? Then click here.

Just in case you happen to miss them, which isn’t likely, there are about four more poster board models at the display bigger than life-size and wearing bikinis so skimpy they would turn heads on South Beach.

The products being sold by Green Novelties include these mallet putters ($70). They kind of look like the old Zebras, only white. But instead of an aiming line (who needs those?) there is an imprint of a sexy lady instead on top. These putters don’t seem too sturdy. They are very light and the club head didn’t appear totally square. I think they may cause a stiff putting stroke.

I always seem to find myself by their booth, which is often very crowded. There were a lot of guys getting pictures with these girls but no one really testing the putters.

The last few days they’d also been blaring hip-hop music, though today they’ve turned it off. I suppose there is only so much Sean Paul you can take for three days - or maybe the neighboring booths began complaining. I’d hate to be the bland booths neighboring these guys. What oogling PGA merchandisers are going to notice your revolutionary golf tee with these babes shaking it in front of everyone?