WIN Free golf lessons with Butch Harmon!
Win a free golf book!

Republicans, what is a major political debate doing in Myrtle Beach?

Wednesday January 9, 2008 | 04:28:33 am 367 words, 3187 views  

I didn’t even realize what was happening until yesterday. While at a red light one block from my office, six giant heads made of sand were suddenly staring at me from across the street of the Myrtle Beach Convention Center.

I thought I had suddenly been transported to Easter Island before I noticed one of the heads had perfect hair.

“Oh, Mitt Romney,” I concluded.

The G.O.P. holds their Presidential debate tomorrow right in my back yard, and I couldn’t be more confused.

What is a major political event doing in a tourist town?

I think there should be a rule that no act of politics can occur within five miles of ANY beach. The debate is being held so close to the ocean, Ron Paul could answer a question about the economy, shed his clothes and go streaking down 21st avenue, and be frolicking in the water before John McCain has finished his rebuttal.

Since I’ve been a resident of Myrtle Beach I’ve been in a complete state of lethargy. CNN is my kryptonite. All I want to do is drink beer and play air guitar to Guns n’ Roses at Bummz. People who live in a tourist town aren’t supposed to be concerned with politics. For us, the “hard questions” include things like how they can make the ice in their cooler melt slower.

All I’m saying is that I don’t think this is the proper environment to determine our nation’s future leader.

Also, like adding water to acid, isn’t it never a great idea to mix politicians (those kinky Republicans especially) with an abundance of strip clubs? Tomorrow night I’ll be at Nuttin’ Butt Horseplay* with a camera phone and a tape recorder.

By Friday I’ll be retired, having sold my blackmail to TMZ.com for millions.

Maybe I’ll attend the debates (if only to ask which candidate, if elected, will allow the liquor stores around here to stay open past 7 p.m.).

Considering the bizarreness of these creepy sand heads, I can’t possibly fathom how it will be an ordinary day in politics.

*Real name for a strip club in Myrtle Beach, by the way. I could never make that up.

Permalink 5 comments

Comments, Pingbacks:

Comment from: Ron Mittney [Visitor] · http://standupcomedianforhire.blogspot.com
Ya I saw we go jump on their sand noses and make sphinxes! Especially Fred because he's the oldest. Or he seems the oldest. Tiredest.
PermalinkPermalink 01/09/08 @ 14:45
Comment from: Jim Heath [Visitor] · http://www.wpde.com
The Republican presidential debate is Thursday. And the Democrats are here on Monday the 21st. Hey, who doesn't want to play at the beach?

Jim Heath
News Anchor
ABC 15 Myrtle Beach
PermalinkPermalink 01/09/08 @ 15:12
Comment from: Mitch Laurance [Visitor]
I certainly think it makes sense to have the
debates here in Myrtle Beach. Those responsible
have simply recognized the importance of the
Grand Strand in bringing tourist dollars to the
entire state, andhave rewarded Myrtle Beach
accordingly. To have the debates here in
Myrtle Beach is a fantastic opportunity
to show that though it will indeed be serious
business inside the Convention Center tomorrow
night, and on the 21st when the Democrats visit,
a great resort town like Myrtle Beach is just
as viable a location to host the nation as
anyplace else.

Mitch Laurance
Producer/Host
"OnTheGreenGolfVideoShowcase"
"Around The Beach with Mitch & Ewa"

PermalinkPermalink 01/09/08 @ 17:59
Comment from: Golf Goddess [Visitor]
Mitch is right. If any town in America stands for serious business, it's Myrtle Beach. I've already placed my order for "GOP Gone Wild -- Unsensored and out of control!"
PermalinkPermalink 01/09/08 @ 21:24
Comment from: Kiel Christianson [Visitor]
I hope someone asks them about their stand on
the effects of all-you-can-eat deap-fried seafood
buffets on America's obesity epidemic.
PermalinkPermalink 01/10/08 @ 09:30

Leave a comment:

Your email address will not be displayed on this site.
Your URL will be displayed.

Allowed XHTML tags: <p, ul, ol, li, dl, dt, dd, address, blockquote, ins, del, span, bdo, br, em, strong, dfn, code, samp, kdb, var, cite, abbr, acronym, q, sub, sup, tt, i, b, big, small>. Bloggers reserve the right to edit or delete comments. Any opinions expressed above are those of the writer and do not necessarily represent the views of the management.
(Line breaks become <br />)
(Set cookies for name, email and url)
(Allow users to contact you through a message form (your email will NOT be displayed.))
Grass is green. What color is grass?

Brandon Tucker Brandon Tucker

a WorldGolf.com Blog

WorldGolf.com blogger Brandon Tucker offers his unique perspective on golf and travel destinations from Scotland and Ireland to Myrtle Beach. He also chimes in on news events on the PGA and LPGA Tours, Tiger Woods, Phil Mickelson and other happenings around the world of golf.