The best wake-up call

This morning I woke up to belt sanders and screaming carpenters.

It’s that time of year when the condo I live in gets a makeover. It’s great for resale value and probably keeps the homeless from thinking it’s abandoned. But I don’t own the unit, so all I know is that my door has wet paint on it and I can’t sleep in past 8 a.m.

So I ended up coming into the office unusually early and got a lot of blank stares from co-workers who aren’t used to my presence while on their first cup of coffee.

This isn’t how I like to transition from bed to cubicle, and it leaves me longing for better mornings, like getting my favorite wake up call at any resort I’ve stayed in at the American Club in Kohler, Wisconsin.

Here, you’re brought from slumber to the outside world gradually and comfortably. When you roll over in bed to answer the phone, a polite young lady not only says “good morning", but tells you the weather for the day and when and where your tee time is. She’s not overly chipper, either. You don’t want the first voice you hear in the morning to be some Red Bull-addicted speed talker who sounds like she’s selling you a credit card.

Then, the sweetheart offers to call back in 15 minutes - a personal snooze alarm. When she calls back, she asks again. If you’d like, she’ll call every 15 minutes until checkout.

That’s five-star hospitality. I rag on five-star hotels a lot, because it often seems like they’re just hoarding in corporate retreats and ruthlessly nickel-and-diming them. Guests are never as worried about outrageous dry-cleaning costs or internet connections when they’re staying on the company dime.

Not the American Club. It’s expensive, sure. But there is free internet and the service is unbelievable. Value isn’t about what you pay, but what you get for the money.

Even better than the service is Kohler’s plumbing. It’s exceptional, especially at the Waters Spa. They have the most sophisticated shower functions I’ve ever seen. It’s also newly renovated, so your soak won’t be interrupted by a piercing buzz saw anytime soon.

Just posted: The River Course at Blackwolf Run course review. I’m reminded of how spectacular and fun this course was to play. Not to mention how poorly I shot…