Teenagers are too busy earning their PGA and LPGA Tour cards to have sex, new study finds

Just when you thought kids were growing up too fast…a new study on MSNBC is reporting fewer teenagers are having sex these days compared to 2005.

Surprised? Not me. How could teenagers possibly have the time for sex when the majority of them are chasing the lucrative dream of earning their very own tour card?

Things sure have changed since I was in high school. My friends and I all shared the dream of trying to extend curfew past midnight. Now kids are spending their weekends tracking down Phil Knight’s people for a sponsorship.

At least I’m not a teenage boy now though. Competition over to see who could grow more facial hair was enough pressure. Now kids show up to school comparing sponsor’s exemptions. There is also by all accounts a very imbalanced boy/girl ratio at our nation’s schools since most of America’s teen girls are all ditching class for golf tournaments. Good luck finding a date to prom boys, that’s the start of the summer tournament circuit!

I admit I was initially against the idea of teenagers going pro before they can even drive the corporate vehicle issued to them at an event, but golf may be just the thing to settle these kids’ hormones. Have you ever been “in the mood” after two hours of range work followed by 18 holes or more? The only thing I ever crave after a long day of golf is some chicken wings and a nap.

So I suppose when you consider the alternative to what a 16-year-old would be doing if he or she weren’t on the course all day, like experimenting with booze, fireworks and each other (TravelGolf.com’s very own Tim McDonald was apparently dragging dead sea turtles behind his car in Ponte Vedra)- maybe we can’t get these kids on the rigorous tour circuit fast enough.