Unlike Tiger, Mayweather and D.C. Madame can't deliver the goods

Saturday night’s big fight, Oscar De La Hoya vs. Floyd Mayweather Jr. left me as confused and disappointed as when I’m walking out of a Michael Bay-directed Hollywood blockbuster.

Millions of us were duped into watching an uneventful split decision, where neither Mayweather or La Hoya looked like a winner. Everyone in the crowd seemed to have joined HBO boxing analyst Larry Merchant in a confused, incoherent daze as to what had happened. We paid $2500 for this???

This fight didn’t “bring back boxing". You’re telling me a fight between two little 150-pounders is going to revive a sport? No way. Let’s remember freak shows make for good TV. We want Andre the Giant vs. Jabba the Hutt. Better yet, we want a Mike Tyson-like act of cannibalism before our eyes.

Nobody wants to watch speed, balance and agility. That’s for figure skating.
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But the fight wasn’t even the biggest letdown of the week.

The alleged “D.C. Madame” was supposed to reveal many big names of government officials who used her escort service in our nations capital on 20/20.

I couldn’t wait to see what big shots turned up. Public embarrassment of famous people, like David Hasselhoff’s recent relapse caught on tape, or Alec Baldwin’s Bad Daddy-moment and Paris Hilton’s jail sentence is what gets Blue Collar Joes like myself out of bed in the morning.

Turns out the Madame’s client list had the phone numbers of men about as newsworthy as the contestants who don’t get to the Hot Seat on Who Wants to be a Millionaire (the daytime edition, no less). So much for a major pile-on of our government leaders’ kinky ways.

Rest assured, we won’t have to wait long before another scandalous case is found on Capitol Hill. That train is never late.

Blockbuster events don’t always live up to it’s billing. For that, let’s give thanks to golf for not having “winners by a split decision", and to the Wachovia Championship, which featured big names - not nobodies - atop the leaderboard. And let’s not forget Tiger Woods, who seldom fails to deliver a knock out.

But I would like to see a rapper running in Woods’ posse like Mayweather has in 50.