Danny Gans being a huge tool overshadows Phil Mickelson leading Pebble Beach Pro-Am

I know golf is boring to watch on TV. But today at the Pebble Beach Pro-Am in Monterrey we were offered the alternative to generic PGA pros with no personality and shoddy fashion sense.

Namely: Danny Gans.

This Vegas show entertainer who headlines at the Mirage in Las Vegas (I only know this because he’s on probably 25% of billboards and advertising on the Strip – I would never actually pay money to see this self-absorbed loser) was all over CBS’s coverage of the 3rd round.

Maybe Bill Murray was having an off-day with his gallery antics, or maybe we’ve all finally realized George Lopez - despite the Powers That Be trying to mold him into Murray’s celeb apprentice - is about as funny as indigestion.

But no one should be subject to Danny Gans without voluntarily paying $200 in Vegas - a city that prides itself on ripping people off.

So how did Danny Gans dominate the cameras? With his Dr. Evil and Austin Powers impressions (between amateurish hacks). Yes, it was the Austin Powers from about a decade ago that got old around when Ludacris’ “Number One Spot” single topped the “hip-hop” charts in 2004.

Look, I know people who watch golf are lame, and I will say Mike Myers’ Austin Powers series (at least the first two) were awesome. I never even saw the 007 movies he spoofed, but they are great. But it was a long time ago. It would be like trying to get a party started these days with a Fleetwood Mac record.

Phil Mickelson on the other hand, had a decent round 70 and has two no-names chasing him on Sunday. The Golf Channel and other media outlets have been declaring “Phil’s Back!” all week. A bit prematurely of course, but that is nothing new from bandwagon sports shows.

I’m not going to watch tomorrow, because I don’t want to see a great golf tournament ruined by some Vegas show queen and his horrible impressions that aren’t even relevant anymore. If only Tom Brady was a sell-out, attention-starved wannabe, then we could see more of his professional demeanor and solid golf game.

Instead, we’re given a heavy dose of Danny Gans’ pathetic act - one who clearly wishes he was mainstream. Did his PR people really think being a doofus in front of a national audience would make him big-time? Am I just that out of touch with the lame-0s who pay money to see this clown?

Hopefully on Sunday, they’ll throw cameras on the Mickelson trainwreck/comeback and let Gans go back to his little show at the Mirage that’s really boomed after the immensely popular albino tigers were canceled for some reason. Gans should only be subject to those tasteless enough to go to Vegas and shill out hard cash to watch this wanker.