Danny Gans being a huge tool overshadows Phil Mickelson leading Pebble Beach Pro-Am

Feb 11

Danny Gans being a huge tool overshadows Phil Mickelson leading Pebble Beach Pro-Am

I know golf is boring to watch on TV. But today at the Pebble Beach Pro-Am in Monterrey we were offered the alternative to generic PGA pros with no personality and shoddy fashion sense.

Namely: Danny Gans.

This Vegas show entertainer who headlines at the Mirage in Las Vegas (I only know this because he’s on probably 25% of billboards and advertising on the Strip – I would never actually pay money to see this self-absorbed loser) was all over CBS’s coverage of the 3rd round.

Maybe Bill Murray was having an off-day with his gallery antics, or maybe we’ve all finally realized George Lopez - despite the Powers That Be trying to mold him into Murray’s celeb apprentice - is about as funny as indigestion.

But no one should be subject to Danny Gans without voluntarily paying $200 in Vegas - a city that prides itself on ripping people off.

So how did Danny Gans dominate the cameras? With his Dr. Evil and Austin Powers impressions (between amateurish hacks). Yes, it was the Austin Powers from about a decade ago that got old around when Ludacris’ “Number One Spot” single topped the “hip-hop” charts in 2004.

Look, I know people who watch golf are lame, and I will say Mike Myers’ Austin Powers series (at least the first two) were awesome. I never even saw the 007 movies he spoofed, but they are great. But it was a long time ago. It would be like trying to get a party started these days with a Fleetwood Mac record.

Phil Mickelson on the other hand, had a decent round 70 and has two no-names chasing him on Sunday. The Golf Channel and other media outlets have been declaring “Phil’s Back!” all week. A bit prematurely of course, but that is nothing new from bandwagon sports shows.

I’m not going to watch tomorrow, because I don’t want to see a great golf tournament ruined by some Vegas show queen and his horrible impressions that aren’t even relevant anymore. If only Tom Brady was a sell-out, attention-starved wannabe, then we could see more of his professional demeanor and solid golf game.

Instead, we’re given a heavy dose of Danny Gans’ pathetic act - one who clearly wishes he was mainstream. Did his PR people really think being a doofus in front of a national audience would make him big-time? Am I just that out of touch with the lame-0s who pay money to see this clown?

Hopefully on Sunday, they’ll throw cameras on the Mickelson trainwreck/comeback and let Gans go back to his little show at the Mirage that’s really boomed after the immensely popular albino tigers were canceled for some reason. Gans should only be subject to those tasteless enough to go to Vegas and shill out hard cash to watch this wanker.

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14 comments

§ U Sudu bartender said on : 02/11/07 @ 00:32
How many Captain Morgans and Coke did you drink before writing this trip, BTuck? I LOVE Danny Gans.
§ UpTight said on : 02/11/07 @ 09:14
Danny Gans sucked--he was completely annoying. Perhaps his spotlight by CBS was paid advertising by rhe Mirage.
§ Alex said on : 02/11/07 @ 09:41
They were white tigers. I agree, Gans is as funny as a rubber crutch.
§ Billy Dawg said on : 02/11/07 @ 10:47
You really don't know what's going on, do you Bran-man? Only the top 20 or so amateurs make the cut to play on Sunday. There is virtually no clowning on Sunday from those celebs/ams as everyone is trying to win the tournament. Plus, they respect the reality that the pros are playing for serious cash. You ought to have at least some knowledge of what you write about next time.
§ gbrime said on : 02/11/07 @ 11:31
there's no point in holding back, Brandon...let it out...you'll feel better
§ RonMon said on : 02/11/07 @ 17:56
I'm going to go with a "you're wrong, Tuck" on this one. Gans was funny, Murray is trite, Lopez is funny within the shackles the mainstream TV world keeps him, and the ATTPA does the two-step with celeb entertainment on Saturday (with a little competitive golf) and competitive golf on Sunday (with no celeb entertainment.) It's a good balancing act. Gans, former stud baseball player, had a decent and powerful swing, so you can't crit his game. His voices were right on...I bet he can even imitate your writing pathos. Oh, the humanity!
§ Brandon Tucker said on : 02/11/07 @ 18:03
Why am I not surprised you like him, Ron Mon. His impressions are about as off as most of your prose. Looks to me like a match made in heaven.
§ Ford said on : 02/11/07 @ 21:14
George Burns, Al Pacino, Jack Nicholoson, Harry Carry, Kermit The Frog...Gans impressions may be dead on, but so are the majority of his subjects. Sorry RonMon the under 40 crowd is with Brandon on this one--Gans impressions are as tired as you're blogging.
§ Brandon Tucker said on : 02/11/07 @ 22:06
I forgot about the Harry Caray one. That wasn't even close. My college roommate could do one spot on. He could fill a room when he did it. Uncanny, seriously. I haven't seen anyone but maybe Will Ferrell come close to it. The Eastwood one was iffy and so was Kermit. Bogus man, stick to show tunes or whatever you do, Gans.
§ patricia said on : 02/12/07 @ 10:27
It should be illegal to be that annoying but unfortunately it's not.
§ RonMon said on : 02/12/07 @ 22:16
Ford, you clown, the under 40 crowd is irrelevant in the world today. However, when I was under 40, it was most relevant. Funny how that is. Say hi to Chevy for me next time he leaves you in the dust.

Patricia, how annoying could he possibly be? More annoying than the swings of the CEOs? More annoying than Bill "Why Am I Not More Important Than I Think I Am" Murray? Doubt it.

TBuck (or whatever they call you)...remember that Prose is a rose with p on it.
§ Shanks said on : 02/13/07 @ 09:01
Guys, guys ..... all they're trying to do is retain the flavor of a Hollywood-style pro-am. I've been watching this thing for about 30 years and Saturdays have always been about the celebs. Granted, the (mostly) tv stars are trying too hard to entertain - for my taste. I can see where they draw in the non-golf nuts to watch on Saturdays. Let's just be thankful that we golf nuts get Sunday.

You know, if Tiger Woods could play in the twosome with Bill Murray as his partner and somehow manage to win, it might be a greater feat than the Grand Slam.
§ immts said on : 02/14/07 @ 17:40
Thank god other people were thinking the same thing. I was staring at the TV with with amazement wondering how this guy makes a dime in the entertainment biz.

Not only is he not funny, but his impersonations suck! I was laughing at his Jack Nicholson because of how absolutely lame and pathetic it was. DUDE, YOU DON'T SOUND LIKE, JACK. Really. You don't.
§ dolf said on : 02/15/07 @ 11:08
Amen. Gans was the most painfully untalented dude I've ever been subjected to. I found this blog while trying to find others who were forced to change the channel rather than watch another milisecond of Danny Gans. I had no idea who he was before last week. Now I hope I never see him again. It doesn't help that his impersonations are average at best.

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Brandon Tucker