Despite new airport security measures, Bic lighter makes it through four security check points

Last week I flew back to America after being stationed in Europe six months (tear). It was a lovely time, which was soon forgotten once I found myself hauling four overstuffed bags through what seemed like countless airports, each bigger than the next.

One of the side effects from having this much luggage is you kind of just stuff things where it fits and towards the end you really have no idea where anything is.

I flew from Prague to Amsterdam to Chicago and finally ending up in Washington D.C. a couple days later. As I sorted through my assortment of junk I realized there was a lighter in my carry-on backpack all along.

This bugged me, not so much because security in three different countries in four different airports, including a flight to our nation’s capital failed to pick up what is supposed to be a monumental safety threat to our country, but because I didn’t have my big bottle of Opti-free contact solution in the same pack for fear it would be confiscated. I checked it instead. My eyes dry up pretty fast and I usually experience discomfort on flights. Due to my cheap bastardness however, I only buy the stuff in economy size and thus it’s too much fluid for today’s carry-on standards.

All the while, my lighter made it through unscathed repeatedly.

Last week, a plane was diverted after a woman lit a match to try and conceal the stink of her repeated flatulence.

Yet fluids aren’t allowed…Sometimes I wonder if the “fluid rule” is an attempt to increase airport gift shop spending, but that’s a conspiracy theory I generally ponder only after reading too much WKW.

Maybe next time I’ll take it up a notch and try and sneak a pound of hash through security (for journalistic purposes) especially if I have another six hour layover in Amsterdam. I should warm however Chicago Midway is filled with drug (or bomb) sniffing dogs. Each has the happiest little smile on their face too, it’s remarkable.

Safe travels everyone!