The latest terrorist threat to airline travel is passing gas, seriously

The latest terrorist threat to airline travel is flatulence. And no, I’m not making this up.

A woman caused a flight to be diverted to Nashville after she lit a match after she passed gas while in the high skies. Terrorist paranoia has gotten so out of control that common courtesy has become cause for extreme inconvenience.

For no reason should anyone have to land in Nashville.

Sure, she should have known better. But a suitable punishment could have been simply sticking her in the restroom for the rest of the flight, not causing 100 people to be unecessarily searched, questioned and delayed.

At this rate, pretty soon even passengers’ minds will be deemed dangerous. The FAA will huddle up in cloudy dark rooms for hours trying to figure out how our brains can be checked baggage as well, nervous pyschological warfare can somehow talk pilots into taking planes down themselves. The solution will be showing a barrage of reality television, Pauly Shore movies and samples of Ron Mon’s golf blog to passengers in hopes of keeping us dumb and sedated.

The woman was questioned and not charged with a crime. She wasn’t allowed back on the plane, either. The next time I’m on a flight to Orlando and there’s some little tyke screaming in my ear or trying to eat my IPod headphones, I will most certainly plant a match in that little booger’s fingers. Might be the only way to get some peace and quiet.