Third world babies are the trendy new accessory - thanks to Madonna, Jolie

The tabloid-obsessed UK is all over the new Madonna adoption of an African one-year old, who apparently has checked into the celeb’s London estate. This story is everywhere in Scotland, even more than Bill Murray’s party-crashing in St. Andrews. Paparazzi and fans are now scrambling to catch a glimpse of the latest trend Madonna is setting.

But just like her conversion to electronic music, Madonna’s is showing up a little tardy. Angelina Jolie is already looking at her third impoverished little tike, mixed in with one of her own, natural accents. When CNN enshrined her as the second coming of Mother Theresa after she returned from Africa recently, she had this to say about looking for a new prospective fashion. I mean baby.

“We don’t know which country,” she told Cooper. “But we’re looking at different countries. It’s going to be the balance of what would be the best for Mad and for Z right now. Another boy, another girl, which country, which race would fit best with the kids.”

Kind of like a well-rounded set of stilletos, really. The last thing you want to do is adopt an Inuit child from the Arctic who may clash with your southern hemisphere collection. It’s a delicate balance indeed.

Other celebrities with third world babies include Mia Farrow and Ewan McGregor. Britney Spears, who idolizes Madonna for her ability to be famous without knowing how to sing, is reportedly inspired by her mentor & girl-on-girl kiss partner, and is considering shopping around for her own third world baby. Should she follow through, her career is no doubt shortly afloat again.

This baby-spree kind of puts Paris Hilton to shame, huh? She was among the celebs who sparked a trend of little dogs among professional or simply bored adult women. Across the world, breeders were scrambling to cash in and pumped their dobermans and golden retrievers with growth-stunting hormones in hopes it could fit in a Gucci purse.

But why have some little chihuahua who will never even truly comprehend how fabulous you are, when you could import a living, breathing human?

This baby idea is quite genius. Not only is there no messy consumation process and inconvenience of pregnancy, your baby also provides instant “street cred". There’s also the added bonus of no tabloid photos of you looking chubby while your bun’s in the oven.

I’m even looking into a third world baby myself. Aside from the paper work and expensive plane ticket, they’re quite hassle-free. The only problem I’m having is where from? I wear a lot of blue, so I’m thinking an Argentinian skin tone would fit best. I also hear they’re one of the more photogenic nations. Has anyone had a bad third world baby experience? If so, let me know which countries to maybe shy from. I hear kids from the Pacific islands kind of peak out around 18 months. Is there some kind of Baby Blue Book I can order on Amazon.com?