Great win in U.S. Women's Amateur Kimberly Kim! Let's talk business, Wie is way ahead of you. . .
Congratulations Kimberly Kim, on your fantastic U.S. Women’s Amateur Championship!
The bad news…Michelle Wie beat you to a lot of the good sponsors - which you sorta deserve for staying amateur this long - but the good news is that exploiting teenage girls in America never goes out of style, I’m sure we can make some deals.
But we’ve gotta cash in fast before some 12-year old with a pet monkey as a caddie wins next year. The lifespan of a golfer is only about 30-60 years. Each month counts.
First off, the name. Your parents clearly didn’t have “exploitation” or “marketability” in mind when you were born. That’s okay, but Kim-Kim won’t work, we’ve already got a Brit-Brit in the tabloids. Brainstorm with me, “Kim Blade", “Kim Ace", “Kim Kong” okay that last one’s dumb.
Now the braces. . .I hate to say it, but there’s a slice of the male population out there that fawn over teenage golfers a little too much (most of them comment on this blog board all the time, you can’t miss em). You might have to nix the braces for the time being. Once we get you some contracts with Adidas or McDonalds, maybe they’ll buy you the invisible kind. You think FHM is gonna want a hunk of metal on their cover? No.
Next up, you need a lofty goal. A mission. You can’t just be happy to have been the youngest to win a national Amateur event. You have to be a trail blazer. An icon. Make it personal too….
I’VE GOT IT: At the Mercedes Championship a few years back, you asked Tiger Woods for an autograph after the round, he said “Beat it” and walked off, now you have a personal vendetta to defeat him, mono e mono on your home soil in Hawaii before you die. Try and sign with Adidas too, so there’s a shoe rivalry as well.
Lastly, I think we need an innocent quote gone awry, something to start up a little cat fight - that’s the only entertaining thing about the LPGA anyways. How about: “I think what Michelle Wie is doing is great, I’d just rather win stuff, he-he.”
Kimberly, you still have your braces on…
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12 comments
I don't bash Wie so much as I bash "The Man" behind her. Her moves are about as calculated as a new teen heart throb's.
I will go on record as saying Wie will win something in the next year.
Maybe it'll be golf, maybe it'll be Dancing with the Stars.
The level of golf that Wie plays is well above their levels.
Wie beat Kim by 23 shots over 4 rounds at the US Womens Open.
That's about an 11 shot advantage over the 2 rounds of the us amateur championships, so the pressure of a tight match would likely not have been an issue.
"The Man" behind her? You write a golf gossip column! Who do you think you are working for? Sorry, "Street Cred" is out of the question for you. Are you angling for "Cart Path Cred"?
So true. so very freakin true. the Maria Sharapova/Kournikova thing icked me out in the early stages too.
"I think what Michelle Wie is doing is great, I'd just rather win stuff, he-he."
Even the die hardiest Wie warrior has to admit this was chuckle-worthy.
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We've heard the same line for years... and yet Old 88 keeps on losing. What is she now. 0 for 7 years, and counting.
It's always wait till next year! And we've been hearing it for what seems like forever. She hasn't done it in 2009, so now we're hearing that 2010 is the year she'll dominate.. ha,ha,ha... I will give here credit for being a decent also-ran.
Tucker, you too jumping on Wie-bashing band wagon ? Enjoy while it lasts because she will come back with a vengence in year 2007, and you Wie-bashers will have to eat your shorts.
08/14/06
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Hey Jay, you were so right.. Winless has ripped through the LPGA and dominated everyone. When she plays, everyone else is fighting for second, as first is reserved for her.
There are a few questions I'd like to ask:
1. How many majors has she won?
2. How many tournaments has she won?
3. Will she be Rookie* of the Year?
4. How many Player of the Year awards does she own?
5. Why is she so afraid of Ya Ni Tseng?
6. Do you think she'll be on the Ryder Cup Team, like she plans to be?
Tucker, you too jumping on Wie-bashing band wagon ? Enjoy while it lasts because she will come back with a vengence in year 2007, and you Wie-bashers will have to eat your shorts.
08/14/06
===============
Hey Jay, you were so right.. Winless has ripped through the LPGA and dominated everyone. When she plays, everyone else is fighting for second, as first is reserved for her.
There are a few questions I'd like to ask:
1. How many majors has she won?
2. How many tournaments has she won?
3. Will she be Rookie* of the Year?
4. How many Player of the Year awards does she own?
5. Why is she so afraid of Ya Ni Tseng?
6. Do you think she'll be on the Ryder Cup Team, like she plans to be?
Yes, we do, and it's a couple of years later and things still haven't changed. She had a chance to win the first tournament of the year (2009) and promptly blew a three-shot lead with seven holes to play, but going three over on her own ball; and Angela Stanford showed what a champion is made of by going three under... Some will say that Wie didn't lose it and that Stanford won it, but they don't want to admit that even with Stanford's three birds, Wie would have been in a playoff had she not choked away those three shots....
So... yeah, she's still at it. Come Sunday when she has a chance, she'll gag.
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