Sights and views from across the pond

I just returned from my maiden voyage across the pond to Spain and Italy where asking for free refills is a stupid question and there’s few police patrolling the streets but plenty of ambulances.

A few notes. . .

Delta Delta Delta. . .: Despite being one of the first to board the plane from Altlanta to Europe, I was not-s0-kindly escorted off the flight minutes before take-off because my seat was also assigned to a Spanish mother of two.

After finding a similar flight 20 hours later, attendents informed me no hotels were available anywhere in Atlanta, which once housed an entire Summer Olympic games, so enjoy sleeping in a chair in the airport lounge of your choice, and here’s 20 dollars in vouchers you’re sure to blow in 15 minutes while you spend more time browsing beautiful Hartsfeld-Jackson than you will San Marco’s Piazza. If you thought they were harsh on me. . .they went Sopranos on my luggage, which arrived in Spain four days after I did despite having a day head start. The spanish mother’s luggage must have had its way with mine in the barracks below as well.

My last straw with Cell Phones: Anyone who has read my blog knows my conservative views with cell phones. But after what happened in Venice I officially concede. Gondola rides are the quintessential romantic thing to do there, so at sunset, my girlfriend and I picked up a bottle of Tuscan Chianti, two plastic cups and forked over mucho euro for an encanting ride through the back canals of “La Serenissima". What happens? Halfway through, the Gondolier’s Mexican Hat Dance ringtone interupts his singing and he picks it up and chats for a few minutes. Next time my playing partner on the golf course whips out his cell I’ll cry tears of consideration.

God-fearing ain’t the same: Two things I learned growing up: The Nazis didn’t mess with the Swiss Army, neither should you. Also, the Almighty sees all. So when you enter the Sistine Chapel in the Vatican City, Swiss guards sternly look each tourist in the eye and say, “NO PHOTO". Then why were dozens of people trying to sneak a quick snapshot anyways like they snuck notes past their Poly Sci teacher? The guards promptly bounced sinner after sinner. But those who think they got away with it: you see the Last Judgement on the far wall of the chapel? You may soon feel similar wrath. . .I at least hope you framed the shot right, maybe He’ll go easy on you then.

What happend to the Lira?: I used to frequent Canada in my days up north. There, things cost about 30% more, but it was no biggie cuz the American dollar was usually over 30% stronger. Only in Italy things cost more and I couldn’t unload a G-Wash on a street begger without getting a dirty look.

On the bright side, gas here is still cheaper and a mile is still way longer than a kilometer. U! S! A!