Yes, Chris, I’ve been a bit M.I.A. Between the Pistons’ run and me moving home from Florida after my great “Real 9-5 Job Experiment” (which was short-lived, I have diagnosed myself with “Job A.D.D."), I haven’t had many thoughts on golf aside from “wouldn’t it be great to get paid to golf?” As a result, I’m out hitting the links five times a week in Michigan and will soon be bringing you all the latest in a state depleted by the loss last night. Between that and the auto industry, I wonder how some around here get up in the ...

I’m glad to see a little scrutiny on the Caribbean coming from this site, to the dismay of any old editors. It seems like the only things ever written about the Caribbean are how sandy white and sparkling blue the water is. Rarely is it brought to anyone’s attention most of these places are poverty stricken. The first time I read Tim’s bashing on safety in the Caribbean I thought he went a little overboard. Recently however I recalled my one and only trip to the Bahamas. Keep in mind this was during high school spring break in 2000 – ...

I think everyone who can afford to blow the kind of money you can feed 500 african refugees for a year on some sweet sticks should do so. It doesn’t bug me when I see a hack roll up to the tee with some new Taylor Made woods, Ping Irons and Scotty Cameron putter. What digusts me is when at the beginning of EVERY golf season they have something new. Show a little loyalty to your clubs, don’t toss ‘em after a few bad rounds. However. . .thanks to these guys the used club market is a bullish one for ...

Chris, I’d like to know why you golf in the first place? In the past few weeks, you’ve revealed you’d rather go under the knife than under the microscope with a pro. And now you say you’d rather find your shanked 7-iron in the middle of the fairway so long as a gopher boy (I’m paid for this, right TG?) goes Pinnacle diving and throws it on the green. You say your game is so bad. . .I wonder if course conditions even matter to a player who will be playing his ball from O.B. all round anyways??? Speaking of ...

I feel bad about it, but not enough to pay the bar tab. . . Jennifer’s blind shot eagle reminds me of a little prank me and some buddies pulled a few years back. There’s a hole at our home course that is 250-yard par 4 dogleg left. If you hook your drive a little, it can roll up the hill and make the green. The 16th tee box is just steps away. Players from the tee can’t see the green, or us. So when we were teeing off and heard a ball from that green hit the flag stick, we ...

Golf pros aren’t scam artists. I would define a scam artist as someone who is trying to profit through manipulation. . .i.e. Bank of America, who send me five times more offers for “free” life insurance, “free” credit cards and “free” magazine offers than actual statements stating how much money they are trying to take from me. ...

I didn’t single out the course because every course does this to my knowledge – Greens must be treated, its part of maintenance, but it also sucks it’s hardly ever made known until you’ve already forked over your cash. The course I played was Summerbrooke, down in Tallahassee, which is a decent course and was reviewed by Tim. I will go back again, just when the greens grow out. I wouldn’t say this is so much about bad conditions but more directly about maintenance and renovation. Do I think Summerbrooke screwed me? I wouldn’t say so. Do I wish ALL ...

With all this talk about course conditions and getting taken for a ride, why don’t courses offer discounts when they stuff a bunch of holes in their greens, making putting virtually impossible? I played a round today where it looked like my ball was pogo-sticking through an Iraqi mine field on the greens. My greens fees: the same as if I were putting on the good stuff. I’m not going back for at least two weeks, and judging by the wide open course I played on, seems the rest of the town is going elsewhere too. I’m not a business ...

“A tradition unlike any other.” This isn’t just the family motto whenever Uncle Gerry hogs the water closet after his Friday night Chilicheesechimichungas. It’s also a phrase Jim Nantz has been brainwashed with and has declared in a gazillion CBS promos. These shrining words date back to when Augusta National board members sat around a table one hot, Georgia night years ago and one of them said, “That ‘don’t leave home without it‘. . .we need a saying like that ’round here!” So you see, old, rich, southern, old conservative men can change, so long as they believe it preserves ...

Disclaimer: I told myself I’d never get involved in a quarrel between two former MSU students. . .Don’t even know if they’ll have time to read this between couch burnings and tear-gassings after Saturday night. That said, I thought I’d chime in on paying college athletes. First off, both Kiel and Chris are right: Players are already getting paid – and taken advantage of. So where should the line be drawn? MSU coach Tom Izzo had a good quote last week sometime during the tournament, which I thought may shed some light. He said, “Families should be enjoying the incredible ...

I just returned from my maiden voyage across the pond to Spain and Italy where asking for free refills is a stupid question and there’s few police patrolling the streets but plenty of ambulances. A few notes. . . Delta Delta Delta. . .: Despite being one of the first to board the plane from Altlanta to Europe, I was not-s0-kindly escorted off the flight minutes before take-off because my seat was also assigned to a Spanish mother of two. After finding a similar flight 20 hours later, attendents informed me no hotels were available anywhere in Atlanta, which once housed ...

Anyone wanna talk more rap music and golf? A brief stop watching some music videos this evening got me to thinking about Tiger’s fall from being a common reference in rap songs. Think about it, when he first burst on the scene, Puffy was making videos that took place on golf courses, Jay-Z was referencing Tiger left and right in lyrics. He was the phenom rappers would liken themselves to more often than not. Maybe they too have noticed Tiger isn’t as dominant as he was – or he’s just played out. It seems like when rap ...

Had my first round of 2005 this past weekend. As a native of Michigan, playing in 70-degree Florida weather in mid-Feb was a blessing. But the first round is always ugly. The short game always goes first, too. By the back nine, all my chips were with my putter and five-footers were gimme two-putts. But as I rode along the fairways, I wondered what this golf season’s motivation would be. . . See, I was always a competitive golfer. I was hacking it up in local tourney’s when I was ten, all the way through high school, and even did some ...

Fed up with my insistance to make light of anything my high school Latin instructor tried to teach me, whether it be passive periphrastics or “cum clauses” with a genitive deponent, he said to me: “You know in Sparta, once a child was found to be left-handed, he was placed in a catapult and flung into the hillside, never to be seen again. . .frankly you should be lucky you’ve made it this far.” That’s stuck with me, far more than anything having to do with the language itself (frankly I learned more the second time I watched Gladiator). So because of ...

Super Bowl notes. . . Best commercial: The three CareerBuilder.com ads with the monkeys. Hits close to home with my job. . .I get those same looks of bewilderment the monkeys get whenever I pitch a story idea. Worst Commercial: At first I want to say that GoDaddy.com web hosting commerical with the bimbo on C-SPIN in the first half. The ad that actually had to be softened in order to air. Then again, there are countless commericals I don’t remember. So I’d like to announce my new website set to debut next week. . . Tom Brady: Neither leads a 4th ...

The Annual PGA Merchandise Show was held last week in Orlando. My invitation must have been lost in the mail though, no worries, guys. I can only wonder of the new products expected to infect— I mean bless the golf market over the coming year. Then again, I understand why they felt they could go about their business without me. I haven’t bought a new club in four years (basically I play with my clubs until they’re so worn down I start whiffing because a hole has been worn right through the sole), meaning I’m probably not the demographic ...

Tom Brady is once again dumbfoundingly, quietly having a better year than Peyton Manning, Michael Vick, Donovan McNabb, EVERYONE! Tommy is the best QB in the NFL hands down. And he’s also the only NFL player, make that remotely famous person (not counting Fingers the Starter at the neighorhood muni. . .he’s more of a local legend) I’ve played a round of golf with. Of course, this was back in his University of Michigan days where naturally, he was overshadowed in Ann Arbor by some high school hotshot who went on to be one of the most dissappointing recruits ever ...

When’s the last time you saw a raging bull slain on the green in a PGA tournament? Chi-Chi Rodriguez come back! Golf needs your art of “showboating"! Frankly, we need more showboaters out there. A simple wave to the crowd, or if the golfer is feeling a bit devilish a pump of the fist with a flying back kick, just won’t cut it in ol’ 2005. From now on, if you drain a 15-footer to go ahead of your playing partner, give him a good stare-down. Even better, walk over to his wife and tell her something along the lines ...