"Stillwell angel, have another chocolate bar"

Is someone filming the Lakers for an upcoming reality series and not telling us?

I didn’t know much of Karl Malone when he was with Utah. I did know he had a tight-shorts sidekick and an “Oh man the mail IS being delivered on Sunday!” cliche that followed him around on NBC. I also recall him losing his cool after forgetting Michael Jordan isn’t allowed to be whistled for traveling or pushing off.

But from what I have seen lately from “Newman", Karl’s career change from Iron Man to Punching Bag has been nothing short of a “bummer".

It appears the old saying “You only get more pissed-off at Kobe with age” is ringing true. Talk about a bad move going to L.A. I have often considered a voyage to La La Land somewhere down the road to maybe chase a far-off dream of some sort. Now, I’m thinking I have a better chance fulfilling that dream somewhere beneath my desk.

Karl, Karl, Karl. . .You should know by now that Kobe, like a spoiled, chubby rugrat who thinks it’s a good idea for a third helping of chocolate fudge, always gets his way (see: Shaq, Phil, and the United States Judicial System). I know Vanessa Bryant is a looker. In fact, if I had the chance I’d probably make a pass at her too regardless the level of beat-down likely to ensue. But frankly the team is about three years away from being renamed “Kobe Presents: The Los Angeles Kobe’s".

As for Karl, the family man, he’ll probably try and justify his actions. He’ll say, “I wasn’t hitting on her, I was simply inquiring of the next time she’ll be in the bathtub. Lonely". But it won’t matter. What was said won’t matter. Because Kobe wants more fudge.