Michelle Wie wins a major = I drop trousers at Augusta during the Masters!

Talk of Michelle Wie winning a major is just so much blah-blah

Pretty courageous of Jennifer Mario to bet us in her blog that Michelle Wie will win a men’s major sometime in her career. Way to go out on a limb, Jennifer.

Since we’re talking about a 16-year-old kid, will we have to wait 25 years to collect on that bet? Or is that 30 years? If Wie hasn’t won a men’s major by the age of 50, will that be conclusive? Sorry to say, many of us will be dead by then.

Fact is, nobody born before the Age of the Internet will collect, even though it’s probably the safest bet in the world. No way Michelle Wie wins a men’s major.

This reminds me of a silly wager I made once. I bet a thousand dollars that Darryl Strawberry of the Mets would hit 50 home runs in a season within nine years. That was in 1986, before we knew about the dumb-dust habit that would destroy Darryl’s baseball career. He never did hit those 50 long taters, but my friend Bart Macgillivray is still waiting for his money. Bets with long expiration dates are like that. Nobody wins.

So let me take a position right now, while the whole world is listening. Jennifer, if Michelle Wie ever wins a men’s major golf tournament, I promise to drop trou on the 18th green at Augusta National during the fourth round of the Masters.

This time I mean it! Anyone who doubts me, I’ll bet $50. Any takers?